Tuesday, December 31, 2013


 I woke up to a lie this morning. 
I was in bed thinking about my last binge eating episode and thinking of things that I could have done differently. I listed things that have been helpful in the past:
1. Prayer
2. Journal writing
3. Singing praise songs
4. Walking the dog
5. Calling/texting a friend
6. Leaving the kitchen (even if it was a huge mess) 
7. Looking at the list of go-to scripture verse on my phone

Then I remembered how that, while each of the things HAVE helped to hold off a binge in the past (sometimes for as much as a week or more) that the urge to binge never left away until I finally gave in.

Thinking these things, I began to feel overwhelmed.
That is when the lie came in. I heard Satan's whisper: 
 "Nothing works. There is nothing that will satisfy that urge. giving into a binge is inevitable, you have to accept that this is part of you."
But I know that is a LIE. It isn't true
. I wasn't made for that behavior. I WAS made for more. 
There is someone who will satisfy that urge and so much more. I have a Father in heaven who has promised to satisfy my deepest longings - way more than any amount of food ever could.
So... INSTEAD of the lie, I am choosing today to claim the promise.
Jeremiah 32:27
"Behold, I am the Lord, is there anything too hard for me?"

Of course, before God gave Jeremiah that promise, Jeremiah had to be ready to receive it.
 Verse 17 of the same chapter shows us Jeremiah's prayer:
(This reminded me of Matthew 7:7-8, when Jesus tells us to SEEK and we shall find, not that it will be dropped into our lap without any thought on our part.) 

So this is where i am this morning. I am humbling myself in prayer and admitting to God that I know He is willing to take to control of this if will figure out how to just allow him to. My prayer this morning is Jeremiah's prayer in verse 17.
 I am claiming the affirming promise that God responded to Jeremiah with in verse 27 as a promise to myself. 

I ask you to join me in that prayer, because I am in scared. I like to be in control. I REALLY don't like not to be. I don't know HOW not to be. 
I'm scared, but I am sick of believing the lie. I want this monster out of my life